In my first year at university I enrolled in an extracurricular module called ‘The Science of Happiness’. It was a psychology module about wellness and how to be happier, based on the field of positive psychology. There were no assignments and we were not expected to take any notes. We simply had a one hour lecture once a week and we met in small groups to discuss the content and our thoughts. As much as my friends teased me that it was silly, it was one of the best extra curricular things that I have done during my time at university. I had already learnt lots about wellness and mindfulness owing to my interests in minimalism and intentional living but this course has solidified a lot of those ideas for me.
Most of the advice was obvious: sleep more, meditate, journal, exercise regularly. But one phrase that we were told has really stuck with me: “Happiness is a skill, and like other skills it can be learnt and practiced.”
(this video is old and needs rerecording, I do apologise)
I had heard before the saying that 'happiness is a choice' but that didn't sit well with me because I knew first hand just how much bad mental health can make it impossible to feel happy and that as much as we can try to reframe things and 'look on the bright side', it isn't as easy as flicking a switch and just deciding be happy. (Read this post for more about the connection between mental health and happiness).
However, the analogy of happiness as a skill is an idea that makes much more sense to me because it recognises that while there are things we can choose to do such as journaling and exercising that will improve our contentedness, these things can be difficult to do or to find the motivation to do and that they won't magically make us happier over night. Happiness, like other skills, is something that we have to practice and develop over time if we want to be really good at it and if we take a break from working on it for too long then our proficiency will regress and will we have to rebuild our progress. (This isn't something to be ashamed of, you may have a good reason to not make happiness a priority at certain times in your life, it is just important to be aware that you will have to retrain this muscle, and that you can't expect to magically be able to return to a high level of happiness overnight when you make it a priority again.) I also like this analogy because it allows room for the idea that some people will have a natural talent for happiness while others are disadvantaged and may have interfering conditions that might make it incredibly difficult for them.
You can choose to learn to play an instrument and you can decide how often you practice but you cannot decide to become a master overnight. Happiness is exactly the same; you can decide that you are going to nurture it and you can do things that will make help to improve your wellbeing but it will take time and consistency for the effects to really be noticed.
No matter your circumstance, I believe there are things that you can do to improve your mental wellbeing. However, it is important to address the fact that someone going through a very tough time will not see the same results as someone who is going through a wonderful phase of their life. This doesn't meant that these things aren't worth doing as there will still be an improvement, just remember that the improvement will be relative to the circumstances. This also means that we shouldn't judge others on their levels of mental wellbeing and happiness as we do not know what disadvantages they may be up against and the reasons why they may be choosing not to prioritise happiness at a given stage in their life.
You can read this post to find more resources on happiness and mental wellbeing.
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