This month I am embarking on a project that I am calling #ResetSeptember in which I am trying to build good habits and practices such as journaling and exercising back into my life in the hopes that it will improve my mental health and help me to feel happier overall. However, I thought it was important to include something of a disclaimer at the start of this month and address the subject of mental health and how it differs from happiness.
I have wanted to write a blog post about this for a long time now but the reason that I haven't is because, truth be told, I don't feel qualified enough to write a formal post about this topic. I have been attending therapy sessions for the last year and this is a common theme in our discussions. The terms 'mental health', 'contentedness' and 'happiness' are difficult to define and the ways in which they are connected and affect each other is even more complicated.
I have also come to wonder if maybe these terms and how they are linked is something that we each have to define for ourselves. Maybe there isn't a universal truth. Maybe that is why I talk often about this topic with my therapist and yet I still don't feel confident that I know the answers because there isn't a magical formula that she can just hand to me.
I think it would be wrong of me though to talk about habit building and how it can improve happiness without addressing the topic of mental health and what the difference between mental health and happiness is. I don't want people to read a post of mine and think that I am deluded or ignorant on the subject of mental health and just how difficult it can be for some people. I also don't want people who suffer with their mental health to read one of my posts claiming that a certain habit or ritual will improve their life and then feel utterly hopeless if they try it and it doesn't work for them. So, I have decided to write this post explaining my current views towards the subject and hopefully it will at least help to explain where I am coming or why I use certain terms when I do. This post isn't meant to be a definitive resource but hopefully it will serve as an eye opener for people who don't know much about the topic of mental health and hopefully it will add some context to my other content this month.
Here is how I would personally define these terms:
Mental Health: This relates to your underlying mental stability. To be mentally well is to feel calm and at peace with your mind, to not feel depressed or anxious or distressed in any other way, especially in the quieter moments in your day when you are not preoccupied or temporarily distracted from your thoughts. To be mental well is to be able to sit with your thoughts and to feel that you are safe and whole.
Contentedness: This relates to how satisfied and fulfilled you feel by your life as a whole. Someone who is content would be able to step back and evaluate their life and smile with gratitude, believing that their life is filled with good things and that their future will be positive.
Happiness: This is a state in which you feel joyful or elated. Think about those moments when you can't stop smiling or laughing because you feel so great.
Someone with good mental health would feel neutral and calm in an average daily setting. Someone who is content would approach the same setting with ease, feeling comfortable and confident, they would likely be sociable and attempt to make tasks as fun or as efficient as possible. Someone who is happy would approach a setting with excitement, looking for the positives in things and trying to make the most of it, spreading joy with others around them.
Here is how I think of these terms as being connected:
Recently I have been picturing these three states as making up a triangle or pyramid. On the bottom is mental health, above that we have contentedness and then happiness is on the top.
For me, adding contentedness as that middle state proved to be the missing piece of the puzzle because although 'mental health' and 'happiness' are both about feeling good they are very different things. Adding that middle state helps to view them as a spectrum of states with factors that change as you move up and down the triangle.
Mental health is the largest piece and is at the bottom because it is the most foundational. It is something that we would ideally experience all of the time. As we move up the triangle, the pieces become smaller as they are states that we can expect to feel less often; contentedness is not something that we can expect to feel all of the time and happiness is even more fleeting. You could also argue for this reason that mental health is the most important section.
Another factor that changes as we move up the triangle is the intensity of the feeling; while happiness can often be a very intense feeling, so much so that we can't help but smile or laugh, mental health can be a completely neutral feeling that we may not even notice.
Can You Experience One State Without The Others?
The question that I find the most interesting (and therefore the one I am most unsure about) is 'Can You Experience One State Without The Others?' i.e. can one experience happiness even when they are mentally unwell?
I have answered this question for myself by picturing each section of the triangle as resting on the one below it. Contentedness cannot exist without mental health and happiness cannot exist without contentedness and in turn mental health; however, this does not mean that each state has to be completely wholly to support the section above. Maybe there is a huge chunk missing from your mental health or maybe there is a big crack in your contentedness. This doesn't mean that they above states can't exist but it does make it harder for them to be stable. I also view this triangle as everchanging. On the days when my mental health is awful, I do not expect to experience contentedness or happiness but maybe the day after my mental health will feel much more secure and then I can experience those feelings.
It is possible to experience some happiness when you are mentally unwell and often these moments of happiness are what give us hope in our darkness moments but you are much more likely to feel happy more often when you are mentally well and content with your life. This is why it is so important to tend to our mental health and our contentedness if we want to experience more happiness in our lives.
Most of the tools for improving mental wellbeing that I share on my platforms apply to the middle contentedness state as I believe this is the state that is the easiest to tend to and nurture. Issues relating to mental health are often far more serious than anything that can be solved by simple habits or rituals and if you are struggling with your mental health you should seek professional advice instead of reading a blog written by someone with no medical or psychology related qualifications. The happiness state is difficult to tend to because true happiness is a fleeting feeling and we are setting ourselves up for failure if we expect to experience this all of the time.
With this in mind I hope that you find the resources pertaining to contentedness and happiness across my platforms useful in building your best life for yourself and I hope that this post has helped to add some context to my other content. However, I would like to once again remind you that I have no formal qualifications in this field and this is just me sharing my experiences, beliefs and what has worked for me in the hopes that it will help others too. I am also very open to changing my mind as I am not an oracle and would love to here your thoughts on this subject in the comments below! (As long as you are polite and kind you are more than welcome to try and convince me that I am completely wrong!)
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